Sydney woman Mobinah Ahmad develops friendship test to rank friends

BEFORE Facebook most of us would probably have said we had a few dozen friends, and a handful of very close friends.
But these days the term ‘friend’ is used so loosely it even applies to people that we haven’t met.
Curious who out of her 537 ‘friends’ on Facebook were actually genuine, Sydney woman Mobinah Ahmad developed a test to rank them.
“What I define as a friend is what most people would define as a best friend,” Ms Ahmad told the ABC’s 7.30 program. “So someone who you talk to regularly, you have a very close connection to, you can turn to. If you asked me how many friends I have, I would say maybe one.”
Based on the test, the rest of Mobinah’s ‘friends’ found themselves bumped down the list to acquaintance.
“I asked people questions like would you make the effort to drop me to the airport? Can we sustain a 20-minute conversation?” she said.
The test is called the Friendship and Acquaintance 6 Stage Theory and divides ‘friends’ into six categories; pre-acquaintance, acquaintance level one, acquaintance level two, acquaintance level three, pre-friend and friend.
Relatives, partners and workmates were excluded.
After Mobinah carried out the experiment she found that she had less closer friends than she originally thought.
Of the people she counted as a true friend, there was only one, her friend Iman.
Under her theory a true friend is someone you care immensely about, can give honest opinion and thoughts, notices when you’re upset through subtle changes, you see them regularly, have lots of D&Ms (deep and meaningfuls) with, someone you share mutual trust, respect, admire, forgive and will make sacrifices for the friendship.
She discovered that 14 per cent of the people she knew were ranked in the pre-friend category, that a quarter of the people in her social circle were ranked acquaintance level 3, that 30 per cent of the people she knew were ranked in Acquaintance level 2, that one fifth were acquaintance level one and that ten per cent were in the pre-acquaintance category.
Since she posted her theory online, it has gone viral, with some positive feedback.
“It feels great to know there’s someone else out there in a totally different culture really likes the theory and uses it,” she said. “I think everyone already has a social hierarchy in their head. Who they’re closer to, who they call on if they had a problem.”
So, how do your friends stack up?
Pre­Acquaintance
• We don’t know each other.
• We know their each other’s name only.
Acquaintance Level 1: To know of someone ­
• We know of each other through mutual friends/acquaintances.
• We met briefly at a party/social event/uni.
• You’re a work colleague or business client (who I haven’t spent much time with)
• We run into each other now and then by coincidence
• Convenient Interactions Meeting up is not planned, and only because it is
convenient and easy.
• Details about each other are superficial.
Acquaintance Level 2: Liking & Preliminary Care ­
• We went to school/uni together, or have known you for a long period of time.
• We usually meet in groups, rarely one on one.
• If you needed my help, I would actively participate in helping them to the best of
my ability.
• I can handle a 20 minute small­talk chat with you, any longer and I will get bored.
Acquaintance Level 3: Significant Connection & Care ­
• We have a really good connection.
• We have some very meaningful talks
• We care a lot about each other.
• We don’t see each other all that much, just now and then when we plan to meet.
Pre­Friend (AKA Potential Friend) ­
• Someone I wish were a friend (as defined below and NOT as society currently
defines it)
• I want to spend more time with this person and establish a proper friendship with
them.
Friend: Mutual Feelings of Love ­
• I care immensely in every domain of their life (academic, physical, mental
wellbeing), how their relationships with their loved ones are. I also care about their
thoughts, ideas, elations and fears.
• I can easily give my honest opinion and thoughts.
• This person notices when I am upset through subtle indications.
• I see this person regularly and feel totally comfortable to contact them for a deep
and meaningful talk.
• Someone who takes initiative and makes sacrifices to work on this friendship.
• Mutual trust, respect, admiration, forgiveness and unconditional care.
Note: If it’s not mutual, then you’re not friends.