TOXIC COLLEAGUES

“The boundaries are a little stronger here than in any other kind of relationship, but look for people who don’t respect those boundaries, who demand more,” he explains. “If people want you to align with them, gossip with them, that’s a warning bell. They might want to be your friend because of what you do. If people are disliked by others there’s probably a reason. You don’t need to get on ‘their side’ or create justice for them.
“Also look at how they talk to people — are they subtly critical? Do they try to get you to do things, or offer approval as a way of getting you to do things? Do they have a limited capacity for empathy?”
For any of you who have ever done those “How to spot the psychopath in your office!” quizzes, warning bells might be going off right about now.
“There is always a danger,” says Dr Bambling. “An element of this toxicity is that these people in their extreme forms get into psychopathy or sociopathy. They have no capacity to relate to another person’s feelings, they are unaware of their behavioural impact. When you see them brutalise and go for people who they see as not meeting their needs, they can annihilate them. They use other people to make themselves look good. All of us need to develop boundaries and communicate more so we can negotiate our way through these situations.”